Posts tagged ‘Bolting’

January 17, 2011

On the Run

There are many ways to bolt…Distracting yourself from your pain by doing a thousand different things: thinking about something else, blaming your mother, blaming someone else, getting into a fight, comparing yourself to other people, dreaming about a life in the future, recalling a life in the past, never getting deeply involved.

Eating.

–Women Food and God, Geneen Roth

I’m an expert at bolting.  The golden globes are on now, and it’s oh so tempting to imagine a life of fame or a life brushing with fame and wealth and fabulousness.  My life is good now, but it would be so much better if…!  What a wonderful way to stop dealing with reality here and now.

A dear friend of mine has started a blog about upgrading her fashion choices, and dressing like she cares, as she pulls herself out of depression.  She looks fabulous.  I want to join in the fun but hardly any of my clothes fit.  How can I dress fabulously when I’m too fat to wear my clothes, and cannot afford a whole new wardrobe?  Comparing to others.  Bolt.

I made my most significant weight gain this year while throwing myself into a fundraiser for a non profit I believe in.  Thinking about something else?  Was that bolting too?

I made a significant move.

I took a step back in my career.

I make less money.

I am trying to get more real.

I know that fame, wealth, and status don’t bring happiness.  I know this, but I sometimes forget.

 

 

Ate my feelings tonight.